when insecurities knock

Insecurities suck.

For real though.. they suck the life out of you, they suck the life out of relationships, they stunt growth of not only the individual but the individual’s community.
They stifle, trip up, and are able to paralyze even the most influential people.

For a while now, God has been revealing to me just how dangerous it is to let our insecurities run rampant, and that when we as women perpetually walk in a lifestyle of insecurity, we are actually, in all reality, walking in darkness.

I began to study what Scripture had to say about this, and oddly enough I came upon a verse that initially I sort of skimmed over, but as I dug deeper, I could clearly see that it was speaking directly to what I felt God was teaching me.
“Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates a brother or sister is still in the darkness.” (1 John 2:9)

I thought, surely Lord this isn’t me. I couldn’t hate a fly on the wall.
(okay, I totally could, but you get what I’m saying..)

But then I thought, wait.. what if the word “hate” doesn’t actually mean what I think it means… so I decided to dig deeper.
The Greek word for hate in this specific scripture is misèō which means
“to detest (on a comparative basis)”.

My eyes were instantly opened to see that if we consistently walk in insecurity, it means we are continually comparing ourselves to other people or other circumstances.
How many times as women do we see the “better thing” in someone else and let our insecurity take root even deeper as we compare our lives, our looks, or our location to others around us?
You see, the point is, that when we choose to give in to our insecurity and compare ourselves to others, we are, in a sense, wishing the other person’s reality, blessings, gifts, talents, position, WHATEVER… to be less than ours.

 How is that edifying?
How is that walking in the life He has specifically purposed for you?
How is that living in complete freedom of who God created YOU to be, what He blessed YOU with, and how He chooses to use YOU?

The answer is simple, yet heart wrenching— it isn’t.
A real and honest example of this for me, has a lot to do with traveling and the former “MLB life”.
I could easily get caught up in the former ease of life and the fun travel life if I continually compared my life of changing diapers for three babies to a lot of our friends still in the baseball season of life who travel and who are still living our former lifestyle.
But, the thing is, Ken and I both, as a couple, decided to be done with baseball and follow what we felt in our hearts God was asking us to do.
To the world, and even to us, it made no sense.
Little did we know, a little girl named Naudia was about to be born and needed a loving home and was ultimately meant to be adopted into our family as our first child.
Little did we know, God was calling us out of a season and into a completely different season of life in order to fulfill His calling in and on our lives.
Yes, it was hard to move to a city where we barely knew anyone, yes it was hard to leave a job that paid well with so many options to still be in that world.. but would I trade it for our life now?
Absolutely not.
If I let my insecurity of “but, what will happen next?” or thoughts of, “how will we make it financially in one of the most prestigious, well-off cities in the country?” or the insecurity of feeling like we would lose so many friends of ours if we weren’t in baseball… then it would have stifled and paralyzed me in a way where I couldn’t be fully prepared to enter the season and life that God was calling me into and preparing me for all along.

Comparison is evil. Insecurity is no more glamorous.
We may act on insecurity for many different reasons, but I want to pinpoint a few in order to diminish our insecurities and get us all back on track to being our genuine self and who we were created to be.

1. We think if we celebrate or illuminate another person’s gifts and talents, it diminishes our own gifts and talents for others to see.

This simply isn’t true.

The more we lift up, build up, and encourage one another in their gifts or abilities, the more we are able to see things from a different perspective, and maybe, just maybe, we could actually learn something from them.
I always remind myself: Everyone can learn something from everyone.
The devil would love nothing more than to let you wallow in insecurity and negative comparison.
I think it’s time we as women stop making excuses, shut up our insecurities, and let someone else shine bright in the gifting and abilities God has blessed them with.

2. We think someone else can dictate our calling or what God has purposed in us to do.

Like I said previously, people think that if they let someone else shine brighter, it diminishes them and their calling and their gifting.
On the flip side to that, people often think that there is always something to prove to someone in authority or to someone who “holds the power” in their future.
This also isn’t true.
No one dictates your future other than God Himself.
Don’t let the world convince you that a man holds the power to dictate your future.
God is the God of miracles, He moves mountains, He opens doors, and He makes a way where there is seemingly no way.
How dare we put our faith in mankind.
He has purposed us each individually for a reason, a call, a location.
No man, no woman, can take or give that to an individual.
God will have His way in and through your life.
Our position is just to take the posture of being open and willing to say yes to whatever He calls us to, big or small.
Stop walking in insecurity when you are made for greatness.
Stop walking in the world or society’s standards or way of life when you are made to move against the current with purpose.
Stop following the path of everyone else, when God has called you to pave a way for others on a road completely untraveled.
Let’s bury our insecurities and negative comparisons once and for all.

Are you with me?